Of Weasels and Ferrets
by DeZzA.RaE
Summary: Jazz Malfoy has been bestfriends with James Potter for as long as she can remember. As she enters her final year at Hogwarts her feelings for Fred Weasley deepen... will Fred pull his head out of his butt in time to confess his love for Jazz? FredII/OC
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here is the first installment of my first story _Of Weasels and Ferrets..._ do enjoy...**

**disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter... that belongs soley to JKR... I only came up with any unrecognizble characters... **

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><p>Jazzlynn Azalea Malfoy. That's me. I'm a stereotypical Malfoy. Blonde hair, grey eyes, arrogant attitude—wait, scratch that. I'm nothing like a Malfoy—I'll admit, I do look like my father, but that's about as far as it goes.<p>

Most Malfoys are as I said, arrogant, stuck up, and think they're better than everyone. Not me. I choose to be my own self… that's probably what got me into Gryffindor six years ago. Yeah, Daddy wasn't too thrilled about that.

In truth, though, I am a total daddy's girl. I hate my mother with the same passion as I love Fred Weasley II—too bad Fred doesn't know it.

I felt my fingers clench and unclench into fists as I thought of my mother. When I was 11 she cheated on my father. They divorced six months later. She and the guy she had the affair with—Cormac McLaggen—didn't last long though. She ended up single and alone up until last year. She met this new guy and moved to Casablanca with him 8 weeks into the relationship.

I had just spent two months of my summer with the two of them—one word. TORTURE.

I ran my hand through my blonde hair as I walked up the path in Godric's Hollow. Tripping over my own two feet, I might add.

While in Casablanca my mother had taken it upon herself to make me a _lady_. I hate it. She forced me to wear skirts and frilly tank tops all summer. And these horrible heels that scream FUCK ME.

Don't get me wrong, I love being a girl, but I'm perfectly capable acting like one in jeans and a t-shirt.

I yanked on the too short skirt as I knocked on the Potter household's front door, trying to keep my anger out of the knock. The door swung open to reveal my second cousin, Teddy Lupin.

'Evening, cousin.' I said darkly. He grinned.

'Have a fun time with Mummy dear, eh cous?' He asked, laughing.

'No.' I snapped. He leaned against the door and glanced over my form. Then, he groaned.

'Why the hell did you have to go and grow up, huh Jazz? I mean, merlin first you get boobs, and now you're wearing girl-' I cut him off with a glare.

'I BLOODY HATE THAT WOMAN!' I half shrieked, half growled. Teddy smiled again and pulled me into the house.

'Oi! James, guess who _finally_ arrived!' Teddy called into the house. I pulled down the wretched floral skirt and hiked up the top of the tank top mother made me wear. I also yanked the blasted blue heels off my feet.

'JAZZI!' I heard a male voice shriek before I was engulfed in a huge hug. I grinned and hugged my best mate back.

'So, as much as I'd love for this love fest to continue, I'd rather not look at Jazz's knickers all day.' A cheerful voice said from the floor. I glanced down at the blushing face of Albus Potter.

James dropped my suddenly and stared, open mouthed at me. 'What in the name of merlin's pet hippogriff happened to you?' He asked, still gaping.

'That evil, vile, horrid excuse for a woman.' I sneered. James smirked.

'Ah, Mummy dearest finally got a hold of ya, eh?' He sniggered. I chucked a shoe at him. 'Hey. OW! MUMMY JAZZ IS ABUSING ME!'

I rolled my eyes and turned to Lily. 'Lillian, dear. You're about my size, would you like some new clothes?' I asked, glaring at the clothing on my body. She looked at me, skeptically.

'You're joking, right?' She deadpanned. I grinned. Lily was more of a tomboy than I am.

'Of course. Now, before I tell you all about my dreadful holiday, I need to get out of these clothes.' I grumbled. James grabbed my bag and I followed him up to the guest bedroom. I stripped off my top and pulled on a plain grey tank top and a purple muggle tee. Then, quickly I changed into a pair of jeans and went back into the living room.

I sat on the couch and pulled my knees up to my chest. James sat next to me. 'So?' He asked.

'The second I got there, Michael—that's her new fiancé—was all 'Hello Jasmine, I'm Michael, your new daddy'.' I scoffed. Ginny Potter, who was in the kitchen when I first arrived, walked out.

'Wait, what?' She asked, sitting down in the arm chair. I explained the situation with my mother to her.

'So, first he pronounces your name wrong, then he has the nerve to call himself your 'new daddy'. What a ruddy arse face.' She gasped.

'Yeah, so naturally, my reply was something snarky and completely bitchy. I told him, and I quote 'You're not my fucking father and you never will be. I happen to love my dad very much and I would appreciate it if you never spoke to me again. Oh, and by the way, it's JazzLYNN.' Mother was appalled, she told me to apologize right away. I told her no, she told me it was time I started acting like a lady, and here I am, a wardrobe full of hideous clothes among other things.' I told them. I was just stared at.

'Well… happy birthday, Jazzi. Welcome to adulthood.' James said after a moment. I glanced at him.

'James… you don't even know what adulthood is. You don't turn 17 for another week.' I told him, slowly, hoping he could realize it. He pouted.

**Up in Heaven… with the marauders, Fred, Snape, and Tonks.**

Lily and James Potter watched from above as their grandson chatted with his best and longest friend.

'Never, in my life would I have expected this.' Sirius murmured thoughtfully. Remus glanced up from his book.

'Expected what?' He asked, almost afraid of the answer.

'A Malfoy to produce such a cute kid.' He muttered. Tonks and Lily stared at him. 'I mean, just look at her.'

'That is incredibly creepy, Sirius.' James said, not taking his eyes off the scene below. They were now watching the Potter family eat dinner. He smiled at the family his son had managed to put together.

'All I want to know is when the girl will finally fess up to her feelings to Freddie.' Fred Weasley grumbled from his chair. Sirius perked up.

'Whoa, whoa, whoa. Say what? Jazzi doesn't need a boyfriend.' He practically snarled. Lily and Tonks gave him identical looks.

'Sirius, she's 17, I think she can do whatever she wants.' James said, still not looking at his good friend.

'I can't help being protective, Prongs. She's the first good thing to come out of the Black family since well, me.' Sirius boasted.

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><p><strong>AN: so... what do you think?... should I continue?**

**always remember **Yesterday was the past, tomorrow is the future... but today is the greatest gift of all... that's kinda why they call it the PRESENT.

**peace love pixidust**


	2. Never have I ever

**A/N: yay… two reviews already.. *proceeds to scream and jump like a crazy fan girl*…**

**So, **LilyOfTheField **Asked me how Jazz was related to Sirius… well, here it is:**

Sirius is Narcissa's cousin… Narcissa is Jazz's grandma… so that sorta makes Jazz and Sirius cousin-things

**I'm sorry if it confused everyone… it made sense in my scatter brain.. hehe…**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter.**

**p.s. Jazz's outfits and a pic of her are on my profile.. check'er out.**

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><p>'Happy birthday, kid.' I sang as I jumped on James. He groaned and pushed me off the bed. 'Awe, c'mon grumpy… your mum made chocolate chip pancakes.'<p>

'PANCAKES!' He screeched, jolting up. I grinned. James picked me up, then he threw me over his shoulder and sprinted down the stairs and into the kitchen.

'Um.' Albus muttered, his mouth full of breakfast.

'James Sirius Potter. Put Jazz down.' Ginny scolded. James dropped me and I landed in a heap on the floor.

'OW! I think you broke my breastbone, James.' I whined and rubbed my chest.

'Psh, whatever. You totally deserved it. I mean, c'mon, _Al_ got breakfast before I did on _my _birthday.' The now 17 year old boy whined. I grinned cheekily at him.

'Well, you know. You _are _17 now. You can legally get him back.' I taunted. James turned on his heel and gave his younger brother an evil smirk.

'PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!' He yelled, putting his brother in a body bind before hooking Albus' head in his elbow and giving him a noogie.

'OW! MUM, make him stop!' Albus shrieked. I took my seat at the table and started eating. Under the table I raised my wand.

'Finite.' I whispered and Albus' body bind was lifted. He lunged at his brother, knocking him into the den. I watched with amusement as the two brothers wrestled.

'WHAT are you doing?' Lily screamed at her brothers. 'YOU MADE ME SPILL PUMPKIN JUICE ON MY NEW BLOUSE!'

'JAMES AND ALBUS POTTER! GET IN HERE THIS INSTANT AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!' Ginny hollered. I grinned.

'Nothing like a good ole fashion Potter breakfast.' I said with a sigh. James glared at me from his new found seat at the table.

'I'll cut you.' He hissed, pointing his fork at me. I gaped at him for a moment, then proceeded to almost fall out of my chair from laughter. **(A/N: this has actually happened to me… we were eating Easter dinner… I was talking about pics on facebook about underage drinking and my cousin—who is only 8 months older than I—said, and I quote "You drink before you're 21 and I'll cut you, Dez." It was great.) **

'What?' I gasped, trying to control my breathing. Too bad I failed, and started laughing again. I had tears streaming down my face and somehow got syrup in my hair.

'You heard me, Jazz.' He sang. My stomach hurt from all the laughter. 'I swear, I'll do it.'

'Bring it on, Jamie.' I cooed, using his 'pet-name' that his followers call him.

'Ugh, don't call me that.' He moaned, stuffing his mouth full of food.

'Then don't threaten to cut me.' I replied, bringing my dirty dishes to the sink. Albus, Lily, and Ginny watched amused at our antics.

'You kids better hurry up. We have to be at the Burrow it an hour.' Harry said as he entered the kitchen. I cursed under my breath and raced up the stairs.

'DIBS ON THE SHOWER!' I yelled. I heard two male groans and grinned. I took a twenty minute shower and charmed my hair dry and in slight curls. I apparated to the guest room to get changed.

'Dumb and dumber.' I called, poking my head out the bedroom door. 'I'm done in the shower.' The two boys raced, trying to beat the other into the bathroom.

'HA!' I heard Al's voice yell. So, he beat James. Serves him right. I was removing the towel from my body and going to put my knickers on when James opened my door.

'Hey, Jazz I was wondering- OH MY MERLIN!' He yelled and covered his eyes.

'JAMES POTTER! GET OUT!' I yelled, throwing a shoe at him.

'Oh merlin. My eyes. MY EYES!' He moaned. I huffed and quickly pulled on my bra and knickers. My jeans were next, followed by deodorant, then a pink tank top, my navel ring, and finally a grey crew neck sweatshirt that was cut like the muggles from the 80's wore theirs. I slipped the silver stud into the left side of my nose and put on my makeup.

A thin layer of black eyeliner and mascara later and I was ready to go. I slid on my black converse and slid down the banister of the Potter staircase.

'James walked in on you again?' Harry said from behind the prophet. It has happened so many times now it isn't embarrassing anymore.

'Yup. I was starkers this time too. Don't think that's happened since the first time.' I replied. He snorted a laugh and continued reading.

'Oh, Jazz dear. You have a letter.' Ginny called. I jumped up and ran into the kitchen. She held out a Hogwarts letter to me.

_Dear Miss Malfoy,_

_You're A.P. results are as follows:_

_Astronomy- Outstanding_

_Care of Magical Creatures-Excellent_

_Charms-Excellent _

_Defense Against the Dark Arts-Outstanding_

_Herbology-Outstanding_

_History of Magic-Excellent _

_Potions-Outstanding_

_Transfiguration- Outstanding_

_Arithmacy- Outstanding_

_Ancient Ruins- Excellent_

_Hope your summer is going well._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Merida Hubel_

_A.P. Examiner._

I grinned cheekily. 'Did James get his A.P. exams back?' I asked her. A.P. Exams are advance placement tests. We took them last year to review for the N.E.W.T.S.

'Yes, I'm anxious to see how he did. Oh, and Al got his owls back.' Ginny said.

'BOYS! Your letters are here!' Ginny called. The two boys raced down the stairs. Harry and Lily also joined us in the kitchen.

'You first Al.' Ginny said. Albus opened his letter, and after a moment, he grinned.

'Eh, not too bad. Terrible in History of Magic. Poor in Astronomy and divination. Excellent in Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, and Transfiguration. Outstanding in DADA. Acceptable in Herbology and Potions.' Al said, rattling them off.

'Oh Albus, I'm so proud of you, honey.' Ginny said and hugged her son. 'You next James.'

James opened his letter and after reading it over he smirked. 'Well, I did significantly worse than Albus. Let's see. Poor in Divination, Herbology, and Potions. Acceptable in Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, Transfiguration, and DADA. Dreadful in History of Magic and Arithmacy. And Oh merlin, Uncle George is going to be proud, a Troll in astronomy.' He stated proudly. I gaped at him.

'Did you study at _all_?' I asked him. He just smirked.

'Well, we'll talk about this later James. How did you do, Jazz?' Ginny sighed. I grinned.

'You're going to be wishing I was Jazzlynn Potter and James was James Malfoy in a moment, Ginny.' I told her. 'I've got excellent in Ancient Ruins, History of Magic, Charms, and Care of Magical Creatures. And Outstanding in Arithmacy, Transfigurations, Potions, Herbology, DADA, and Astronomy.'

'Oh way to make me feel bad, Jazz.' James pouted. I just gave him a look.

'Oh, congratulations, Jazz.' Ginny cooed.

Five minutes later I was falling out of the fireplace of the Burrow with James on top of me.

'Ow. You're supposed to wait a few minutes, you twit brain.' I sneered. He jumped off of me and pulled me to my feet.

'Sorry Jazzi. I'm just so excited to tell Uncle George to news.' James apologized.

'It's fine. Though it would be greatly appreciated if you _stopped_ walking in on me when I'm changing.' I reminded him for what seemed like the fiftieth time.

'Ugh, fine.' He grumbled. He saw his Uncle George and grabbed my wrist, pulling me along as he sprinted into the garden.

'Oi! UNCLE GEORGE!' James called.

'Yes, James?' George Weasley asked timidly. I smiled. 'Hullo, Jazz.'

'Uncle George, you'll never believe it. _I_ James Sirius Potter got a troll in my A.P. astronomy class.' James cried happily. The happy chatter around the garden stopped. It was as if Rose had screamed _I'M DATING SCORPIUS MALFOY, EVERYONE_ into the garden.

'I didn't think it was possible.' Percy Weasley gasped.

**Up in heaven…**

Sirius stared, open mouthed. A twang of jealousy coursed through him. He never got a troll on anything.

'Oi! Prongs. Your grandson sucks.' He yelled, crossing his arms. James and Lily Potter turned and stared at Sirius.

'I'm almost afraid to ask.' Tonks whispered to Remus. Remus smiled and kissed his wife's head.

'Me too love, me too.' Remus replied.

'May I ask, what is going on?' A nasally voice asked from the doorway. Everyone turned to look at Severus Snape.

'Why Snapezilla. James II down there just got a Troll on an exam.' James sang. He didn't look very disappointed that his grandson got a rubbish grade.

'Stupid bloody Malfoys and their stupid bloody grades.' Sirius grumbled.

'Sirius? What are you going on about now?' Lily asked him.

It's not fair. She got all the goods grades while little bitty Prongs got poor ones.' Sirius whined. Fred Weasley through a lump of clay that he had been messing with at the adult.

'Mate. James doesn't look too upset about his grades. Now shut up, would'ya, Vic's going to announce something important.' Fred growled and turned his attention back to the Burrow.

**Back To Jazz POV**

James' birthday was going great. Although, his Gran did tell him that he would be the last to get cake. I guess he didn't like that too much, seeing as he is now sulking heavily in the corner.

'DINNER EVERYONE!' Molly Weasley called. Everyone moved out to the garden and sat down to eat.

'Hey Rosie?' 9 year old Lucy Weasley—Percy's daughter—asked. 'What's the difference between supper and dinner?' Rose looked dumbfounded, which was something not commonly found in the Granger-Weasley clan.

'Dinner is a more formal affair, while supper is usually left-overs, or finger foods.' I informed her. The kids all stopped eating and stared at me.

'You're one weird ferret.' Fred told me.

'Ferrets like to crawl into small, dark places to sleep.' I answered in a heavy monotone. Several heads turned to stare at me.

'Are you feeling alright, Jazz?' James asked concerned. I smiled and nodded.

'Just Dandy, James. This is what spending two months in Casablanca with a woman who you hate does to you.' I told him quietly. Suddenly there was a clinking of a fork to a glass.

'May I have your attention, everyone. First of all, Happy 17 James, Teddy and I hope you're having a good day. Second of all, we've picked a date for the wedding. We're getting married on December 29!' Victoire squealed. Everyone said their congratulations and went back to eating.

A few hours later I found myself sitting around a circle with all the kids old enough to drink legally. We were all at Teddy and Victoire's flat, celebrating James' birthday. We all had a bottle of fire whiskey in front of us.

'So, who wants to start?' Dominique asked.

'I'll start.' James said. He thought for a moment. 'Never have I ever… fancied a teacher.' Teddy and Fred both took a sip of alcohol. I glanced around.

'Do dead teachers count?' I asked. James nodded. I shrugged and took a swig.

'What dead teacher do you fancy?' James asked. I grinned.

'I'm sorry Teddy, but that picture Harry has of your dad when he was young. Damn, he was sexy.' I admitted.

'Oh sweet merlin.' Teddy muttered. I just shrugged again. Next was Dom.

'Never have I ever shagged someone who didn't speak my language.' She said. I took a drink and smirked.

'_What_?' James cried. I smiled again.

'His name was… well, I don't really know his name. He spoke Romanian.' I confessed.

After a few hours of playing, there was only one question left to be asked. 'Never have I ever been in love with my best friend's cousin.' Victoire said smugly. She was the only one almost completely sober.

Not caring anymore I chugged the last of my fire whiskey. Hopefully they don't ask who, because at the moment I'm drunk enough to actually spill it.

They didn't thankfully, and twenty minutes later the lot of us were asleep in the den.

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><p><strong>AN: and here it is... the end of chapter two... so, for my readers information... I'll be MIA for the next two weeks, I'm off touring the Black Hills, Yellowstone National Park, and the Grand Canyon w/ the fam...**

**I hope you all enjoy the start of your summer :) **

**And remember **If we live in yesterday and dream about tomorrow, then what's the point of today?

**Peace*Love*Pixidust**


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